The Fear of Mediocrity

It's been eight months since my last post.  Eight long, arduous months, filled with schoolwork, serving in several ministry outlets, and working a full-time job.  In a sense, as much as the people around me have supported me, and said things like, "You're doing WAY more than most people your age" and "You're a real go-getter," I can't help but feel like I'm falling short somehow, or that I'm some sort of mediocre excuse for a person. 

Maybe doing all of these things at once is not a good idea.  Maybe that takes away from the quality each thing would have if I gave it more focus.

Regardless, falling short of some ever-looming obligations to society and/or the dreams and goals of ourselves and our families takes its toll on our minds every day.  People like me now wake up and start each day asking, "Why?"  Why do I get another chance to breathe today?  Why am I doing the things I do?  Why me, Lord?  So that last one was a Kris Kristofferson and/or David Crowder quote, but whatever...

With this ever-looming threat of mediocrity comes this thought: What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? (Ecclesiastes 1:3 ESV)

What do I, a person who claims that one day he will serve the Lord through teaching young people about Him, gain for the work that I currently do.  Upon a close self-evaluation, absolutely nothing.  As of right now, it is another iron in the fire with the juggling act I call life.  However, I can't say that and simply leave it at that.  I have to expound.

I see too much of the mediocre side of things to fully appreciate them, at least while they're happening.  I see the negative long before I can clearly see the positive.  I see the person driving past the homeless guy asking for money before I see them pull into the ATM just to get cash for him.  I see the kids picking on others during worship time long before I see kids falling on their knees in reverence, asking for God to intervene in their lives.

That point seems random, but it's merely a way for me to express that I fear falling short specifically by fearing the mediocrity of my day-to-day tasks.  However, it's upon looking beyond myself that I find an answer to my miserable state.

I see that Jesus, in His many interactions with His people, called them out of mediocrity and led them into a life of higher purpose.  He called Peter and Andrew out of being fishermen to fish for the souls of men with Him.  He called Matthew to collect lost souls for the Kingdom, and to abandon collecting taxes for Caesar.  He calls us to something greater as well.

I don't mean to sound like one of these preacher-type guys who tell you God's got a plan for your life, and follow these steps and He'll bless you.  I am saying that it's painfully clear to me that we cannot find meaning in the trivial day-to-day, or even in our attempts to please God, apart from God.  

Please consider this as you work towards eliminating the mediocrity from your life.  Remember, it's something God does, not you on your own according to your own plans and ideas.